No, those aren’t sniffles from more tears….it’s sniffles from the flu. Why can’t I seem to get healthy? It seems like I’ve gone from OHSS, right into a suspected pulmonary embolism, right into elevated white blood cell counts from ER, and now into this cold. Guess my body can only take so much abuse.
At least now that IVF is over, I can nurse my body back to health!
To recap the week so far, went to Kansas. It was great…but freezing. Freezing + sick= sicker. We went to the Kansas v. Iowa game on Saturday. The game was great. Unfortunately my high hopes of resuming my adult beverage consumption (after abstaining for 2 months for IVF) were foiled by my cold. Nothing sounds good when you are sick…especially beer! The funny thing is, I’ve abstained from alcohol, sushi, caffeine, and all other “bad” things for so long now that I don’t even desire them anymore. Ok, I’m lying. I craved sushi the other day…a craving the DH promptly took care of. Isn’t he awesome!
In procreation news, we received our plan for our FET. I’ve already re-started BCPs and will go in for my cyst check November 4th. Provided that is all clear I’ll begin Lupron November 6th, go in for my suppression check November 16th, begin Estradiol Valerate on November 19th, have an E2 and U/S on December 1, and praying to god that all goes well, our transfer on or around December 7th. I have to think that maybe God’s plan was for us to conceive the month of his son’s birthday. How amazing would it be to find out we are pregnant right before we head home to celebrate Christmas with the family. Granted, that makes getting all of my betas done really difficult, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.
So now the waiting game begins. I am praying for the strength to get through another cycle after already having a failed cycle. I am finding it really hard to have any glimmer of hope that this will work after being crushed after our fresh transfer. Maybe going into it thinking “there’s no way I’m going to get pregnant” is a better outlook…at least then I can’t get hurt if I don’t. At this point, it’s hard to imagine that I’ll ever know what it feels like to carry life inside of me…a feeling I so desperately want. So the easiest thing for me to do is just ignore it. Pretend that nothing is different. That we aren’t doing IVF again. That I am not about to abuse my body with a new plethora of drugs. Perhaps that will make the time pass faster.
In goal oriented news, I have accomplished one thing on my “To-do” list so far…..
All of our credit cards are paid off!! Our IVF has been completely paid off. It’s hard to believe we did it that fast. Don’t get me wrong, the VERY generous gifts from both sets of parents helped more than you could ever know.
One goal down….9 to go!