About Me

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Nashville, TN, United States
I am a mom to amazing twin girls, a wife, and I work full time. I battled infertility for 2 years and over the course of treatments, a twin pregnancy, and raising twins I managed to gain about 80 lbs. I’ve lost about 50 lbs so far and would like to lose another 50 in my quest to become a hot mama.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Nothing else in my ass.

Get your mind out of the gutter.  I mean...no more PIO injections!  My ass is so thankful!  It is nice to be able to sit on it again without any pain or lumps!  So I am officially off all of my IVF medications.  No more estrace, progesterone, B6, Fish oil, etc.  I am starting to feel like a "normal" pregnant person.  All that remains now is the Folic Acid, prenatal, DHA supplement, and Metformin (which I have been told I could stop but I want to do more research on the benefits of staying on it throughout pregnancy).

Friday, March 26, 2010

By popular request.....

Now that I am starting to look.....ummm..."round" I thought I'd post the progression of this expanding belly!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


I don't have any other words.  Just what the fuck.

Why would someone use this product.

PS-the back of this product actually says "Made from real placenta."

PSS-I found this at CVS!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

My boobs are how big?

So I caved.  I didn't want to...but after busting the underwire on one bra and throwing another one away in rage...I decided it was time.  I went to Motherhood Maternity and got fitted for a bra.

I haven't complained about this pregnancy at all.  It has been a blessing, a miracle, and a gift from God.  But holy crap...this little experience blindsided me.

So the nice young lady took my measurements over my clothes.  And....the results....I went from a 36D to (Drumroll please)

Monday, March 22, 2010

Less than 200 days!

I am not quite sure why that seems like a milestone...but it does.  Never mind that fact that I probably had less than 200 days 3 weeks ago since I won't make it to 40 weeks anyways.  If the ticker says it's so...then it must be a milestone!

Quick updates:
-NT scan went well...still no word on the exact statistics but I am not worried about it.
-I went to Target and bought a baby shower gift yesterday...and actually enjoyed it. I wasn't that bitter, angry infertile that wanted to stab everyone else in this section.  It was kind of a nice feeling.
-I am "out of the closet."  I made my big facebook announcement last Friday after our NT scan.  I announced it at work this morning.  So now the news is spreading like wildfire.  Kind of nice that people are no longer wondering why I look like I am growing a large beer gut!
-I am working on my first 2 tiered fondant cake for said baby shower.  Pics to come (provided it doesn't fall apart!)
-Hopefully this weekend we will get the electric dog fence put in at our new house so I can stop using strings of profanities every time one of the dogs runs away.
-I didn't realize it previously...but my uterus is HIGH. Like rapidly reaching my belly button high.  I was rather shocked when the u/s tech was at my bellybutton during the NT scan.  Then I felt it while laying down.  Low and behold, I can feel it way up there!!
-We went to a baby fair this weekend (that sucked donkey balls) and registered to win some gifts.  We won!!!  The biggest gift basket they had!  Can't wait to pick it up.

Ok that is about all that is going on my scrambled mind!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

NT Scan Results

For those who don't know, a NT scan is a "Nuchal Translucency" scan.  It is a prenatal test done between 11 and 13 weeks and uses ultrasound to measure the clear space in the back of the babies neck.  It is often coupled with a blood test to assess the babies risk of Down's syndrome and other chromosomal anomolies.

We opted to only have the u/s portion done...because selfishly I wanted to see the babies again but also because the blood portion of this screening is really only applicable to singleton pregnancies.  Otherwise it just takes the risk...divides it in 2...and applies the same risk level to both babies.  So if one baby has a high chance of having downs and one has a low chance...when they average them together it could look like both babies are just fine...or have a higher than average risk for Downs.  What's the point??  It won't chance how we proceed with this pregnancy.  I know plenty of babies with downs or even spina bifida who have perfectly fufilling lives.

Anyways...on to the results....Everything looked fine.  Both babies measured "within normal range."  I wasn't terribly worried that they were going to find somethign wrong...but you never know.  So now they send these results off to a lab and they come up with the specific risk ratio.  This will be coupled with my age (25).  So our ratio should be pretty low!

Both babies meausred almost a WHOLE week ahead!!  Baby A measured 11 weeks, 5 days with a heartbeat of 156 (which surprised me) and Baby B measured 12 weeks even with a heartbeat of 172.  I didn't realize that the heartbeats could change that drastically or be so different between two babies, but the u/s tech assured me that this is completely normal.  My hope is that maybe now I can differentiate between the two of them with my home doppler.

I was a little disappointed during the scan because both babies were LAZY!!!  Must take after my husband.  Off to great start I guess!  All kidding aside, I guess they were sleeping.  The u/s tech shook my tummy, pressed on it repeatedly with the u/s wand...but these stinkers would move a little...then go right back to sleep.  So the scan too MUCH longer than it should have trying to get them in a position where she could take the spinal measurements.  We even got to see the nasal bones of both babies.

So here are the latest pics:

Here are both babies in one shot.  Baby B is laying facing us, and baby A is a laying long ways so you can only see the top of it's body.

Friday, March 19, 2010

NT Scan today

::Biting nails::

T-minus 1 1/2 hours till our NT scan.  I am nervous and excited all at the same time.

I'll post more after our scan.  If all goes well today we will finally come "out of the closet" so to speak and make our announcement on Facebook (because quite frankly, the friends that we wanted to tell personally have already received a phone call).

Thursday, March 18, 2010

My new BFF

Good ole' ginger ale.  It seems the morning sickness comes in waves.  For the past few days I have been fine....today, not so hot.  I imagine the days of ms will become fewer and fewer...but until then I will suck down and be appreciative for ginger ale!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The bump has begun...

By popular demand...here is a shitty picture of my expanding tummy. 

Can't lie...I am a little surprised that my belly is pooching out this much already!!!

11 weeks:

Monday, March 15, 2010

Take that U/S tech!!

So I decided to purchase a home fetal heart Doppler.  I knew full and well that it would be a while before it would work and I shouldn’t expect to hear anything right at 8 weeks (which is when the company implies that you should be able to hear something).

I asked the u/s tech at our first OB appointment when she suspected someone of my stature might be able to pick up the heartbeat with one of these home dopplers.  Her response was at least 14-15 weeks.  This just seemed a bit longer than I was willing to wait.

I tried it at 9 weeks when it arrived.  Nothing.  This weekend I decided to play with it.  After about 15 minutes of moving around on my tummy….i heard it!  It was the faintest of faint wooshes but I heard one of the babies heart beats.  It was strong enough for the Doppler to pick it up and give me a reading for about 5 seconds before I lost it.  The next day I tried it again closer to the bottom of my uterus….after a few minute I picked up what I think was baby A.  HB right in the 170’s.  Such a glorious sound.  So now my goal is to not use it again until after my NT scan on Friday.

Such an anxiety reliever though to be able to know my babies hearts are still beating!

Friday, March 12, 2010

My latest and greatest fondant cake

For those of you that don't know....I have taken on a new hobby of making fondant cakes.  I don't know why...I just thought it would be fun.  A few weekends ago I took a class on it.  It was tons of fun.  Here are the results:

Thursday, March 11, 2010


So the reality is sinking in finally.  Perhaps it's my expanding waistline or the fact that we just saw our beans on u/s.  The reality is, we are having twins.  Another reality is daycare is going to cost us a fucking arm and leg!!!!!

Yes...perhaps I am jumping the gun, but I am already calling daycares.  The daycare at my job has a wait list over a year long...so I can't really afford to sit around with my thumb in my ass.

So far the rates have ranged from $700 to $800 per month per child.  In case you are bad at math...I'll break that down for you.  That is $1400 to $1600 per month for child care!!!!!

So at this point many of you are probably saying "Why don't you just stay home with them."  Well for starters...I make more money than that per month...so pure math says that's a dumb idea.  Also....I enjoy feeling like I bring something to our table (ahem...mortgage payments and food).  I don't think I could sit at home all day long.  And I am sure some of you are saying "you just wait and see."  Well I have a few choice words for you. (I am obviously in a fun pregnancy induced pissy state).

So now I am feeling this overwhelming feeling that we can't afford this...that after spending so much money on conceiving this two beautiful miracles, we are going to start living paycheck to paycheck.  I know many people do it...we are not one of those families.  We eat out when we want, we go on vacations when we want, we buy whatever we need a the store.  Am I going to have to live on, dare I say it, a budget???

In other news...I finally sacked up and told my boss.  My belly is starting to give me away and my shirt today isn't doing me any favors.  I seriously look like I am 4-5 months pregnant.  I am sure lots of it is bloating....but I feel huge!  Once I am "out of the closet" so to speak, I'll feel like I can embrace the bump....but until then I will uncomfortably try to suck it in and wear a "Yes I am gaining weight" grin as people gaze and wonder.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Happy fetus-verary?

So tommorrow marks the big cross-over from the embryonic phase to officially becoming a fetus!  Well fetuses. Actaully, based on u/s...that happened last week. 

We had our first appointment with the OB/MFM this week.  It still feels fradulent to be sitting amongst "regular" pregnant women.  I felt out of place....like I just didn't belong there.

Feelings aside, we got to see our two beans again.  I must admit, I was a little nervous that one of them wasn't going to have a heartbeat or worse, neither of them would have a heart beat.  I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I suppose that is the curse of IF.

The nurse did the measurements and both babies were measuring ahead of schedule which if fantastic.  There was some discussion about my due date being a little bit off based on the date of our embryo transfer....but the doctor said "It doesn't matter because you won't make it that far anyways." So we will be leaving it at October 7th.  So according to the fertility clinic I was 9 weeks 5 days and according to the OB (and the measurements of the babies) I was 10 weeks 1 day.

Both little hearts were fluttering away.  174 and 176 respectively.

And now for  a shout out to my fertility clinic that missed the fact that I had a SUBCHORIONIC HEMATOMA!!!!  Thats right...after all of those tears and stress of thinking I was having a MC, there was a source of the bleeding after all.  The doctor said it is now measuring 1mm and that it is nothing to worry about.  Whew.  Would have been nice to know when I was bleeding for 3 straight weeks!

I asked my long list of questions.....one of which DH was especially pleased with: "When can we stop pelvic rest?"  The doctor (who was about 65 years old mind you) looked at his watch and said, well at least wait till you get to the car.  I had to hold back the gigantic laugh I wanted to let out!  Then DH and the doctor high-fived.  I know, I know...sounds like the scene from a sitcom...true story though.

I also asked about having a cercalage-doc said won't be necessary because I will be monitored so closely since we are having twins.  I also asked about c-section vs. natural birth-doc said they will respect whatever we would like to do, however there is a tendency with twins for baby B to flip breech after baby A is delivered.  (We are leaning towards a planned c-section at this....yeah I know I am a horrible person....deal with it!). 

We had an uneventful meeting with a nurse who told us everything we already knew about pregnancy (what not to eat, what not to do, what medicines not to take).  I kind of wanted to shake her and say "These babies cost us 30K to conceive...don't you think we've done our research...afterall I'm not 18, clueless as to who the baby dady is, and living on welfare."

That about sums it up.  We will be going back next Friday for our NT scan.  We are opting to not do the tri-screen because it doesn't give us any information specific to one baby...and truth be told...the results of the tests will not alter our decision to continue this pregnancy.

Here are the most recent pics of our little bambinos:

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Let me share with you where NOT to give yourself an injection...


DH left to go out of town Wednesday morning.  Usually when this happens, I have one of the nurses I work with that knows about my pregnancy give me the shot in my hip.  Well for whatever reason, we both just forgot.  I have given myself the shot in my hip once before and it actually wasn't that bad. However, my growing belly is making it quite difficult to contort myself into a position that allows me to see my ass.  So I decided, hell "how bad could the thigh be."

So I looked up pictures on exactly where and how to give it to myself.  After several minutes of building up the balls to plunge that syringe into my thigh, I did it. 

I will admit the syrninge plunging into my skin was actually not as bad as I had anticipated.  Then came the fun part....pushing the progesterone.

After about 1/4 of the fluid went in, the pressure in my leg muscle was so intense I would have sworn I was about to pass out.  I decided to power through it and finish.  As soon as I pulled the syringe out, I was shooting blood out of my leg.  (Mind you...I pulled back on the syringe, so I know I wasn't in a blood vessel).  It took about 5 minutes to get the bleeding to stop.  My leg was sore afterwards..but nothing compared to what it was the next day.

When I woke up on Thursday, preparing for my flight to meet my husband...I could barely walk.  I had to phycially lift my leg into the car and I was limping horribly.  I felt like an idiot not being able to walk.  The limping lasted until today....I am finally able to walk straight.

It was hands down the most painful thing I have ever done to my leg.  Moral of the story...stick to the hip!!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Picture time

I must apologize for the absolutely terrible quality of these photos.  Hubby scanned them for me and let's face it....u/s just don't scan well.

Anyways...here are the most recent pictures of the little ones:
Here is Baby A, measuring 8 weeks, 0days with a heartbeat of 170

Here is Baby B, measuring 8 weeks, 1 day with a heartbeat of 174:

Monday, March 1, 2010

I am alive...

So sorry to leave everyone hanging after Friday's appointment.

The u/s went great!  Both babies have grown quite a bit since my last u/s. Baby A was measuring 8 weeks 0 days and baby B was measuring 8 weeks, 1 day.  Baby A's heartbeat was 170 and baby B's was 174.

To say I am relieved is an understatement.  The bleeding seems to have stopped (for now).

I appologize for not updating everyone.  We went directly from our u/s to the closing on our new house to packing the old house to moving in.  So this is the first time I have had a chance to get to the computer.  I really appreciate everyone that checked in and expressed concern over my lack of posting.  Having all of you wonderful ladies as support has been a god send.

As for the move....things are coming along.  Our new furniture was finally delivered this morning...so we now have a couch to sit on. We are mostly unpacked but still don't have all of our furniture here as we are leaving our old house staged for sale.  We had some lookers Saturday so I am crossing my fingers for an offer soon!!!

I will be back to post pictures of the babies as soon as I can.  They are actually starting to look like babies believe it or not...little arm and leg buds and all.