About Me

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Nashville, TN, United States
I am a mom to amazing twin girls, a wife, and I work full time. I battled infertility for 2 years and over the course of treatments, a twin pregnancy, and raising twins I managed to gain about 80 lbs. I’ve lost about 50 lbs so far and would like to lose another 50 in my quest to become a hot mama.
Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

Monday, October 5, 2009

7dt5dt

BFN. 

DH took me to the mall to do some shopping.  While we were there I started spotting...not just spotting, but passing small brown clots too.

I am devastated.  I am 25 and can't even get pregnant from IVF.  I feel so empty and hopeless.  I can't remember a time in my life when I have ever felt so low.  I am begining to think I will never know the joy of being pregnant.
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14 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 5, 2009 at 7:21 AM

    Oh, I am so sorry!!! (((HUGS)))

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  2. AOctober 5, 2009 at 7:39 AM

    Gosh, I am so sorry. When is your beta? I know it's not over till it's over, but I also know the feeling of resignation...

    I can't remember if I'd read why you went to IVF so soon/young? I am praying for you!

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  3. EmilyOctober 5, 2009 at 9:31 AM

    Thanks guys.

    A, I went to IVF because we have been trying for about 2 years. I have PCOS and DH has severe MF. The combination of the two made it impossible for us to get PG any other way.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousOctober 6, 2009 at 10:00 AM

    Here from the LFCA. I'm so sorry - BFNs always suck but I know from being around this community that after IVF it is that much harder. Wishing you peace.

    ReplyDelete
  5. quadmomOctober 6, 2009 at 12:09 PM

    I am so, so sorry. I definitely understand your pain and confusion -- being young and trying so hard it seems impossible that you can't get pregnant. My IVF last month failed miserably, too. Don't give up hope. *hug*

    (from LFCA)

    ReplyDelete
  6. MicheleOctober 6, 2009 at 12:26 PM

    From LFCA... sending hugs... I am so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mrs. HigrensOctober 6, 2009 at 12:59 PM

    It DOES suck. You are not alone.


    LFCA

    ReplyDelete
  8. EmilyOctober 6, 2009 at 1:22 PM

    Thanks so much everyone. Your support means so much to me.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Paula KellerOctober 6, 2009 at 5:16 PM

    Here from lost and found connections.

    I'm so sorry. I know how painful and disappointing it can be.

    12 snowbabies are waiting? I like those odds.

    ReplyDelete
  10. addingtothepackOctober 6, 2009 at 7:40 PM

    Here from LFCA to say I'm sorry and that sucks.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Aunt BeckyOctober 6, 2009 at 8:39 PM

    I'm so, so sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The ClamOctober 7, 2009 at 1:47 AM

    I'm so sorry honey, the BFN is so hard to deal with. Take time to heal and then you can decide on your POA.

    xxx

    (LFCA - http://theclam.wordpress.com)

    ReplyDelete
  13. PrueOctober 7, 2009 at 2:07 AM

    Also here from LFCA. So sorry to read this. We are also TTC 2 years + with MFI and PCOS.

    There's not much that makes me feel better after a BFN other than a bath with glass of vino and a good book, so my Rx is the same for you.

    Or treat yourself in some way. It might not be a cure, but it helps, just a little.

    ReplyDelete
  14. 'Murgdan'October 7, 2009 at 2:48 AM

    Here from LFCA. I'm so sorry about your BFN. Just wanted to let you know I so remember that feeling. We have severe MFI and our first IVF/ICSI also failed. I was so destroyed and was sure it would never work for us.

    I see you have some frozen embryos though...that is good news (also if I know it doesn't make this BFN feel much better). We had 2 frozens and recently got pregnant after our one and only FET. Even though it doesn't feel like it right now...I just want you to know there is hope for those little frozen snowbabies.

    Hang in there. And I'm so sorry you had to feel this disappointment.

    ReplyDelete

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