About Me

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Nashville, TN, United States
I am a mom to amazing twin girls, a wife, and I work full time. I battled infertility for 2 years and over the course of treatments, a twin pregnancy, and raising twins I managed to gain about 80 lbs. I’ve lost about 50 lbs so far and would like to lose another 50 in my quest to become a hot mama.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Ok Ok.....I suck at blogging.....

So obviously the result of my first injects cycle was a BFN...otherwise I'd have things to blog about. I will really try to be better about it.

Anyways, I have been in a complete and utter funk. The day after DH and I had a negative test, one of my friends, which god bless his heart (and by the way...you will soon figure out that "God bless his/her heart" is how us Tennessee folk begin any statement in which we talk bad about someone) is such an asshole. He and his wife knew the struggle we have been having....all of the heartache, $$, and tears we have poured into trying to start a family. Well after all of that, he calls me (as his very first person to tell) and says… “Guess what….I’m going to be a daddy.” I really tried to grin and bear it and be happy for them….but hot shit….she was on the damn pill and they were barely trying. (In her defense, they put her on the pill so that she could ovulate normally). I had a COMPLETE melt down…..I mean come on….literally 24 hours after I found out that $3,000, 15 or so needle pokes, 6 ultrasounds, and at least 5 different people with their hands in my lady business later we aren’t pregnant you call me first to tell me this. If I were a rational person (which I’m not) I’d be elated that he told me before his wife even went in for a blood test to tell me. Then not 2 weeks later another friend our age announced her pregnancy on facebook! Needless to say I blocked all of the pregnant people form my facebook. I guess that makes me a gigantic child, but I have realized throughout all of this that the number one person I need to look out for is me….and listening to how nice it is to sleep through the night while you know your little bean is in your womb is really not helping me in the least.

Whew…Ok, now to catch everyone up.

So after my cycle AF finally showed up and I went in for my baseline thinking we could jump right into our next cycle. WRONG. I had 16 cysts between my two ovaries and they were so enlarged I was forbidden from doing any physical activities in fear of my ovaries twisting. Yay…so not only did I put on 8 lbs from this cycle…now I have to take a month off from exercise…the one thing that has kept me sane. So I now went from playing with the 150’s to tipping over 170. EHHHHHHHHHHHH. Sucks. So they put me on birth control pills and told me to come back when AF starts again.

Which brings us to now….I am now on CD8….went for my E2 and U/S yesterday. E2 was up to 221 but I have no measureable follicles. I go back this Saturday…so hopefully I’ll have something to report.

Anyways….my hope is to blog more about life and try to focus less on getting pregnant….because it’s making me CRAZY.

Talk to you later!

And for a good laugh: