About Me

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Nashville, TN, United States
I am a mom to amazing twin girls, a wife, and I work full time. I battled infertility for 2 years and over the course of treatments, a twin pregnancy, and raising twins I managed to gain about 80 lbs. I’ve lost about 50 lbs so far and would like to lose another 50 in my quest to become a hot mama.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

The bedrest begins...

Today's appointment was a little more eventful than I had hoped.  Both babies looked great.  Fluid looks good.  Baby A is our runt and measured 3.2lbs in the 31 percentile, which I thought was small, but is apparently normal.  Baby B is our chunker weighting in at 3.11 lbs in the 74 percentile.  The discordance rate between the two babies is 15% and anything less than 20% is considered normal.

Then came the not fun part....my first cervical exam of this pregnancy.  Apparently I am already 80% effaced and fingertip dilated.  The babies are at -2 station.  The doctor said he could feel baby A's head.  I am officially on "modified bed rest" or what my doc calls "level 1" which means working stops, shopping stops, cooking stops, cleaning stops, etc.  I am less than enthused about this because I was REALLY hoping to work until 36 weeks.

So all the doctor told us was "these babies are coming early."  They prepared us for the possibility of NICU time.  I am sufficiently disappointed that I am this thinned out already and am really praying that I can keep these babies cooking for another 6-8 weeks.

Please say a little prayer for our little guys.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Shape of a Mother

I fully acknowledge that this blog will seem cold and callous to those who are still battling IF, but this blog also serves as my diary of my journey, and it would't be complete without mentioning.....

I am terrified of how my body is going to look after I give birth.  I am terrified of how my body is going to look 6 months down the road, 12 months, 2 years.  It scares the holy crap out of me.

I am amazed at the changes my body has made to accommodate these two amazing babies.  My baby belly is gorgeous and round and I absolutely love it.  I've gained a little over 30 lbs and I think I still look fabulous.  All that being said, I've watched as my skin has stretched....and not just stretched, but ripped from deep inside.  The kinds of stretch marks that are simply painful.

This week the babies must be having a growth spurt, because the painful stretch marks have resumed their spread up my stomach and hips.  Today I noticed that the skin around my belly button ring (don't worry...it's a maternity piercing made out of flexible plastic) is starting to stretch from the piercing hole up my stomach.

I am fully aware that with (hopefully) 9 more weeks of pregnancy, my stomach will likely stretch even more. I have this fear though that after all of the swelling goes down  postpartum, my skin is going to be a hot mess.  It is going to hang and look gross.  It's going to constantly hang over pants.  It's going to make me never want to be naked.  And worst of all it's going to make my husband not see my body the same way. I know it seems silly, but how can someone else love your body if you can't love it yourself.

I pray all of my worrying is for nothing and that besides the stretch marks and having a flabbier belly, but body returns to something that resembles normal.

This morning, I did find an amazing website called Shape of a Mother which is a bloggers way of showing off the post-pregnancy "secret."  It was quite inspiring to know that not everyone walks away from pregnancy without stretch marks...and not everyone gains the "perfect" amount of weight during their pregnancy....and not everyone looks like a super model 1 week after giving birth.  It was quite inspiring.  I encourage anyone that is expecting and has some of the worries that I do to check it out.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


So after a day and a half of decreased fetal movements, I called the doctors office.  They said the fact that I was feeling any movement was a good sign and were pretty confident that the babies had just shifted to face each other or face my back.  At any rate, they would feel better if I came in for an NST.  So I did.  Both babies were just fine with heartbeats around 135 and 140ish.  What I didn't expect to see was some contractions on the strip.  The doctor was not concerned with them and the nurse described them as very mild contractions or simply uterine irritability.  I didn't even feel most of them...with the exception of 2 of them which were slightly uncomfortable. I was sent home with the instructions to "take it easy, drink more water, and stay indoors." She also told me to call back immediately if the contractions became painful or more frequent so I can be hooked up to the monitor again.

Fortunately I am working from home today so I am taking full advantage of "Bed office" in which I lay in bed with my phone on my belly and my laptop on my legs.  In 2 more weeks I'll be starting to work from home for 2 days a week.  I am really hoping that this will allow me to continue to work until the end of this pregnancy.  I've done the math and if I can keep these babies in and keep working until 36 weeks and 4 days I'll be able to stay off right through the holidays and come back to work in January (which would be AWESOME!). Holy crap...that's only 55 days!!!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Thrid Trimester?!?!?!

Holy crap.  I cannot believe I am in my 3rd trimester already.  It seems like just yesterday I found out I was pregnant.  The even scarier thing is unlike the first 2 trimesters, I am fully aware that I am not going to get a full 3rd trimester in.  Ehhhhh.  Scary.

How far along: 28 weeks, 1 day

Total Weight Gain: 30 lbs 

Symptoms: Unbelievable back/sciatic nerve pain and swollen appendages.  My feet look like Christmas hams with Vienna sausages stitched on (I know that you think I probably only referred to them as food items because I am pregnant, but I find those two things completely repulsive right now). My hands are also so swollen that bending my fingers hurts and is difficult.

Stretch Marks: Yes.  They seemed to stop for a few weeks there and I think the babies are on a growth spurt again because they are picking back up…and above the belly button this time.  I have never been skinny before, but picturing my post baby belly is starting to sadden me.  I don’t think I’ll ever be able to wear a 2 piece again…especially given that I have 8-10 weeks of stretching left to do!

Sleep: Not good.  Bathroom trips have increased to about 3-4 times per night.  Getting out of bed is a chore because of the back pain so the whole process of going to the bathroom takes much longer than it should.  Not to mention that once I get back into bed my heart is racing as if I just completed some Olympic feat.

Best Moment Last Week: Baby B was facing outwards and I could feel every little movement.  Any time it’s hands moved, I felt it and could see it.  It was pretty cool. I am pretty sure they are facing inwards again because I don’t feel as much movement from that one except big kicks.

Movement: See above.  There is tons of movement.  I love sitting there and putting my hands on my tummy and feeling the Mortal Combat party that is going on in there.  I really hope they have flipped in the same direction, because of one is still breach, poor baby A is getting kicked in the head A LOT! 

Food Cravings: None.  I don’t feel like eating.  My stomach is so squished that I rarely get hungry and when I do eat it gives me reflux.  It is actually  becoming a problem because by the time I am registering I am hungry it is because my blood sugar has tanked so low that I feel like puking.  I am trying to be better about it.

What I Miss: Breathing.  I miss going up the stairs and not needing 20 minutes to recover from it. Seriously…how do morbidly obese people do it?!

What am I looking forward to:  I am looking forward to our Marvelous Multiples class (which will hopefully be a better experience than our breastfeeding class).  I am also REALLY looking forward to the arrival of my family from Florida in 2 weeks for our baby shower. 

Milestones: 28 weeks!!!!  The babies now have a 90-95% chance of survival if they should be born now (god forbid).

How is Daddy? Amazing.  He has been helping me so much more around the house because it is becoming more and more difficult to get things done.  He’s been giving me lots of back and foot rubs and tells me every single day to stop what I am doing and go take a hot bath.  He is seriously as awesome as the guy in the old spice commercials: )  I am so blessed to have such an amazing husband who has taken such an active role in this pregnancy. 

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Breastfeeding Class-FAIL

So yesterday was one of those days where everything seems to go wrong. 

Where to begin, I worked from home yesterday (currently I am telecommuting 1 day per week…..it’s awesome!).  Work was one of those hellish days which put me in a bad mood to start my day out.  Then my husband called to tell me he had been bumped off his flight home from his business trip.  He was put on the next flight 6 hours later and thought he could make our breastfeeding class that night.

Wrong.  He didn’t make our breastfeeding class because his flight kept getting delayed and delayed and delayed.  So after a total breakdown over having to go to this class by myself, I laid down for an hour to rest my eyelids (because keeping them open nowadays is becoming difficult).

I got up and headed to my breastfeeding class.  It was a nightmare to find.  Thank god for the parade of pregnant women walking in, otherwise I think I would have given up and driven home.

So as the class starts I rapidly figure out that I am the only multiple mama there (also I am the only one there without their spouse….Score…nothing like looking like the single mom that got knocked up) and this class is SOOOO not geared towards breastfeeding more than one baby.  So we watch movies and review different techniques for holding the baby while feeding.  At the break, I talked to the instructor.  I told her I was a bit overwhelmed because it seems like everything is geared towards feeding one baby.  She discussed with me different techniques for twins, etc.  Then she tells me she needs to get me another baby out. She hands me a black baby.  Really.  COME ON!  It’s not that I am a racist, but for any of you IVF mama’s out there, you may relate to this irrational fear that maybe the embryos/baby growing inside me aren’t mind and when they go “It’s a boy/girl” and I look at it it is going to be asian or something.  

Friday, July 9, 2010

Looks like sausages

Ok...seriously, this swelling is a little ridiculous.  My feet are so swollen today that I can barely bend my toes.  My toes look like small Vienna sausages stitched on to a Christmas ham.  My leg and foot have fused to become one...they call themselves canckles! They look like Flintstone feet!

27 weeks

How far along: 27 weeks

Total Weight Gain: 30 lbs 

Symptoms: Unbelievable back pain and sciatic nerve pain

Stretch Marks: Oh yes…..no new ones seemed to have sprung up in the past few weeks, but there are plenty there.

Sleep: I can’t get enough of it.  Sleeping is getting  a little more difficult because moving from one side to the other is becoming difficult…as is breathing. 

Best Moment Last Week: Finding out I passed my GTT and touring the maternity center where we will have our babies. I also celebrated my 26th birthday at 26 weeks and 6 days pregnant: )

Movement: Lots and lots.  I could lay down all day and watch my belly move.  Baby B is definitely the more active of the two.  It is kind of funny how they are developing their very own unique personalities already.

Food Cravings: Watermelon…this hasn’t changed over the past few weeks.  I think I could sit down and eat a whole water melon.

What I Miss: The ability to walk normal and at a normal pace. I also really miss being able to breathe and not get winded doing simple tasks like putting my shoes on.

What am I looking forward to:  There is lots I am looking forward to…..our breast feeding class next week and the arrival of my family from Florida for our baby shower!  I also have an u/s scheduled that weekend so I am looking forward to getting to bring my family to that! 

Milestones: The nursery is now fully furnished!

How is Daddy? Amazing.  He goes up and above to help me feel better when my back and body are killing me.  He’s been my rock and source of strength for this pregnancy and I couldn’t do it without him! He still giggles when the babies kick him while he touches my belly.  It’s amazing to watch him bond with babies he hasn’t met yet.

And for the 27 pictures.  (Warning-my belly is stretched to shit…so if stretch marks gross you out, look away now!!! You've been warned)

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Maternity Photos

Here is a slideshow of the maternity photos we had taken this past weekend.