So at my last OB appointment with one of the nurse practitioners in the MFM practice, she wrote me an order to come back from my anatomy scan today (at 16 weeks, 6 days). I happily obliged because I never miss an opportunity to see my babies.
So we show up after our doctor appointment and sit in a waiting room. And we sit. And we sit. 50 minutes after our appointment time we are finally called back. I excitedly roll my maternity pants down and hop on the table. The u/s covers me in goo and goes "So why are we even seeing you today." Umm excuse me...shouldn't you know that? So I reply "For my anatomy scan." Her response "Well I don't know who told you that because it's too early. We can't do those till at least 20 weeks." So wait a minute...you mean to tell me I have been sitting here wasting my entire morning when I could be at work for a scan that you can't do. Ok. Gotcha.
So she says, well I guess we can get some measurements. Yay. Finally some good news. So she turns the screen towards her. I cock my body in a desperate attempt to see the screen but to no avail. I ask her if I can look at the screen to and she tells me that she'll show me at the end. Fine...bitch. So I lay there. And then she starts in on "So why are you even an MFM patient anyways." (Her words). Well dumb bitch with a high school education...it's because I am pregnant with twins and I had started off this lovely journey with a subchorionic hematoma that led to a threatened miscarriage. I didn't quite say that, rather I replied with "Well I think because I am carrying twins." Her response "Well twins doesn't make you high risk." My response "Well obviously my doctors feel this is a high risk pregnancy for me." Silent thought "Now shut the fuck up and do the scan."
So she does the scan. Doesn't say a word about how either of the babies is measuring. Doesn't tell me what she's looking at. Nothing. At the end she says "Ok all done." I looked at her blankly and said "Can I at least have some pictures."
She hands me three u/s pictures that barely look like babies. Really!!!! I know you budgeted 75 minutes for that u/s so there was really no reason why she couldn't take an extra 5 minutes and take at least 2 decent pictures of my babies to tie me over to the next u/s.
So annoyed right now!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unfortunately, the way my insurance is, I can't switch practices without paying through my nose. Oh how I love working for a teaching medical university!
So here are some pics of my blobs courtesy of a white trash bitch with no bedside manner.
Baby A-I call this one "Look ma, no arms and no legs"
Baby B- I call this one "Swiss cheese" or "Chewed up chewing gum"
Baby A and B-looks like Baby B is kissing Baby A's butt: