About Me

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Nashville, TN, United States
I am a mom to amazing twin girls, a wife, and I work full time. I battled infertility for 2 years and over the course of treatments, a twin pregnancy, and raising twins I managed to gain about 80 lbs. I’ve lost about 50 lbs so far and would like to lose another 50 in my quest to become a hot mama.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Dream Infertility Clinic

So after a fun conversation with Carrie M., we decided we should open our fantasy IF clinic.  Here are some of the features we thought should be included.  Please feel free to add:=

  • 1.       Doctor’s with low patient case loads
  • 2.       Warm exam tables
  • 3.       Fuzzy blankets to cover yourself with while getting wanded
  • 4.       Warm speculums
  • 5.       Warm hands!
  • 6.       Warm lube
  • 7.       A person who’s whole job is to stand in the room and let you cry on them if needed or jump around and be a cheerleader if needed.
  • 8.       A reception area with wine and/or hard liquor for after those particularly difficult appointments
  • 9.       Absolutely NO BABIES ALLOWED IN THE CLINIC
  • 10.   A “you’ll get pregnant this month” guarantee
  • 11.   Low/no cost procedures
  • 12.   Masseuse to rub your back and shoulders while you wait
  • 13.   Stand in husbands-for when your husband just can’t be there.  Of course they would all look like Mr. McDreamy AND Mr. McSteamy.
  • 14.   A counselor on staff to help you with all of your crazy emotions and drug fueled mood swings
  • 15.   Chocolate in all of the rooms-because sometimes it just makes you feel better!
  • 16.   An acupuncturist on staff for before and after procedures-why leave the office if you don’t have to?
  • 17.   A wide array of [up to date] “materials” for DH to choose from when doing his “business” in a very private, but spacious locked room-because let’s face it…he’ll make his best batch of baby batter in something bigger than a broom closet with a collection of Ron Jeremy’s greatest 1980’s pornos.
  • 18.   Nurses that are all IF patients and know what it is like to be in our shoes.

Feel free to add!!! 


  1. I think a money-back guarantee would be nice!

  2. #12 Needs to include full body massages for when the stress of IF turns all your muscles into knots.

    And I especially like #14.

    You've done a most excellent job in creating the perfect IF clinic.

  3. I LOVE this place!!! Great idea!! How about adding a mani/pedi station in the waiting room too!! :)

  4. Funny story. The plaque on the "special room" at my new fertility office reads "The jungle room." Apparently it is well stocked. My husband scored. My dr actually has a speculum warmer drawer beileive it or not! They do exist. I kid you not!

  5. How about someone who really does get back to you by the end of the day?

  6. Can we add a facial to the list to help out the stress-induced pimples?

    My clinic actually has heated lube and warm speculums! Shocker. That's about it though -- I think I would trade that for some docs/nurses who were warm and didn't treat me like crap! Oh well!

  7. YEA!!! Our clinic dream IS GOING to come true!!!!!! Love you girl!!!

  8. No wall of "success babies" in every single hall way.

    and I agree with Missy! 100%

  9. I like the masseuse and accupuncturist idea :) I would like to have something/someone in the waiting room that/who encourages the waiting patients to talk to each other- like sharing blog addresses/offering support to each other /etc!!

  10. Warm lube is the best! Our doctors had that and it made a huge difference.

  11. This clinic sounds great!!! Mine offers free tampons and pads in the bathroom and I always think, "if you could just get me pregnant, those wouldn't be necessary."

  12. My #1 is the IF-patient nurses and staff. A MUST!! And not just the "I did IVF because it's my line of work and I wanted to know" or "so I could do gender selection"... a true IFer! :)
    Also, I would like *immediate* test results. hehe. Oh, and maybe a crystal ball. And a no-OHSS promise. No bruising meds. FREE meds. Hahaha, this is great. All these things would be fabulous :)

  13. I want the address to this clinic when you open it, lol! It all sounds great to me.

  14. Hi i am from Pakistan and 25 year old married. Can you kindly suggest any good infertility clinic in Lahore.