About Me

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Nashville, TN, United States
I am a mom to amazing twin girls, a wife, and I work full time. I battled infertility for 2 years and over the course of treatments, a twin pregnancy, and raising twins I managed to gain about 80 lbs. I’ve lost about 50 lbs so far and would like to lose another 50 in my quest to become a hot mama.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


I am so tired I could cry.  Literally.  My eyes are burning so bad.  The only thing I want to do right now is lay my head on my desk and take a nap.  I have also been insanely hungry since yesterday.  I don't remember feeling any of this at my last transfer, but then again I had such severe OHSS that I probably could have been hit by a bus and not felt it.

I am finding it SOOO hard to be positive.  I keep thinking of test time and seeing just one line.  I don't know how to overcome it and the idea of it is just so anxiety provoking to me.  I hate this sensation.  My beta is 1 week from today but that seems like an eternity.

My sister is coming to visit today through sunday so hopefully that will make the time pass faster.  DH and I have elected not to share with any of our family or most of our friends that we did another embryo transfer.   The let down of the last failed cycle was just too much for me to handle.  I thought it would be easier if this doesn't work to get to mourn in private.  Hopefully I won't be mourning.  Hopefully I'll be celebrating.

January is going to be a good month damn it!


  1. Sorry you are having a bad day. Thinking good thoughts for you!

  2. Glad you've got some distractions coming! It's so hard to wait:(

  3. Such a rollercoaster of emotions... I'm hoping that January will be one of the best months of your life!

  4. Distractions are good! Fingers still crossed for you!

  5. I hope the time passes before you know it. Good luck!

  6. Being tired is a GREAT sign!! That was my most obvious sympton during my 2WW ... well it was obvious after my positive beta. I was yawning like crazy all the time!! Also to answer your question you posted on my blog: I totally felt implantation (again at the time I wasn't sure, but my beta completely confirmed it.) At 8dp5td I felt accute cramps on the left side of my uterus for about 6 hours, then they were gone and I felt nothing like it again. I never had any implantation bleeding at all...not even a faint little brown drop...Nada! (But who knows....we are alldifferent so you might experience something completely different!)

    My fingers are crossed super tight and I'm sending all the positive thoughts and prayers your way that you get GREAT news in a week!!

    Also, I totally hear you about the fear of seeing only 1 line. I had never, EVER seen a positive pg test with 2 lines in my life so I was too affraid to take one after our second IVF. I waited til after our beta confirmed it to POS. I wasn't gonna take it unless it showed me two lines dammit....and I still have it....I know, gross, right?!?!?!

    Are you gonna wait til your beta or are you going to POS early??? Its such a tough call!!!!

    GOOD LUCK!!! I'm thinking about you a lot!!!!!

  7. Thanks for the info Priscilla! I appreciate it! Hopefully all of this tiredness is a good sign!

  8. Hang in there, Emily. The waiting is the worst, but if you're feeling tired that sounds like a positive sign! I am glad you'll have your sister around for distraction ... it sounds like once she's gone you only have to wait 2 more days to test. Try and stay busy! Rooting for you and those embies!