Ok, now that I have gotten my cynical post out of the way (and yes…I do feel better now) here’s the skinny since my last post:
This appears to be falling apart at the seams. Where to begin…last week, went in for a lining check. It was up to 7.0mm. E2 was at 850. Looks good. Just need to get one more millimeter before we can transfer. So I make an appointment for an out of state monitoring visit at Shawnee Mission Infertility Clinic in Kansas (because nothing says Happy turkey day like having your vag wanded). So the women gives me all kinds of different numbers 6.2 then 7.0 then 7.1 and also tells me that there appears to be a pocket of mucous or blood inside the lining. Great. Break down number one occurs in the office. Break down number 2 in the car. Break down number 3 happens when my nurse calls to cancel my December 4th transfer. Breakdown number 4 happens while I’m at the in laws. And so on and so forth.
So today I went in, and my f*cking lining is shrinking. Yes, despite “accidentally” taking more estradiol valerate on Saturday and switching from oral to vaginal estrace, I seemed to have back slid by .2mm. Great! If there is any silver lining, apparently blondie that did my u/s in Kansas was totally wrong…there was no fluid in there. Bitch.
So now I am starting to FREAK out. I have so much time, money, and emotions invested in this cycle that I just can’t imagine having it cancelled. So I am still awaiting a call from the RE, but it looks like they are going to increase my estrogen and start me on Viagra suppositories. Weird, but hey, at this point if someone told me cutting off my pinky toe by papercut would get me pregnant, I would do it.
If no progress has been made by my next scan, this cycle is cancelled.
Family, turkey, Christmas shopping, yadda yadda. Thanksgiving is like you would imagine it. BUT, while we were in Kansas we went to dinner with some of DH’s old high school football buddies. I got a chance to talk to a couple, Ben and Carrie, that has had the same shitty luck we have had. I would not wish our situation on anyone, but it was so nice to get to talk to someone my own age about infertility and the crappy hand we’ve been dealt. They have been doing their IVF in the Czech which is apparently SOOOO much cheaper and more personable. Please check out her blog for more info on it. http://benandcarriemug.blogspot.com/
I ran the Thanksgiving day 5K. Beat my last time by 3 minutes. Pretty pleased.
So I like the fact that fertility drug companies never miss an opportunity to get their name out there. I found this particularly memorable while sitting bare bottomed on the u/s table.
That’s about it for now. Hopefully I’ll have some good news to report soon.
Here’s a little prayer I’ve been trying this cycle….
Prayer to St. Gerard
O good St. Gerard, powerful intercessor before the throne of God, wonder-worker of our day, I call upon you and seek your help. While on earth, you always fulfilled God's designs; help me, too, always do God's holy will. Beseech the master of life, from whom all parenthood proceeds, to bless me with offspring, that I may raise up children to God in this life and heirs to the kingdom of God's glory in the life to come.