Grow follies, grow!

So I have made it through my suppression check! My E2 was suppressed at 53 and the u/s showed no cysts. Woo hooo. That might literally be the first "good news" I've ever received in my one year of treatment at this RE. So I started my Follistim on Saturday-225 IU once a night. The crappy thing is I have 300 IU cartridges which means not only will I get my Lupron shot in the morning, but every other night I will wind up having to stick myself twice (to switch out the empty cartridge for a new one).

I find myself secretly planning how we are going to tell family. I know I need to stop this because our doc only gave us about a 60% of this working. While the odds are good, it can still not take and I haven't really be bracing myself for that let down. On the flip side, I have never ever been pregnant, so I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I did see two pink lines. Ohh well, I guess it's just like every other treatment we've been through in that we will have to wait and see.

I have been rather emotional this cycle. I had a meltdown this weekend and started sobbing because I didn't feel like going on on our boat. My husband just stared at me confused....like the "who is this women and what did you do with my wife look." Normally, I LOVE the boat. It is my refuge from the hellish weekdays, but this weekend I just wasn't in the mood. Perhaps because I gave up alcohol 2 weeks ago...and boating and drinking are kind of synonymous with one another.

So I guess now I get to look forward to my first u/s on Wednesday to see how my follies are coming along. Everyone says that IVF stimming is so much shorter than IUI....I just can't seem to believe that given how long I had to stim for our last IUI. So my projected ER is sometime next week. It gives me butterflies just thinking about it. I pray that this is it, because I really and truly can't imagine the utter depression having another negative outcome will cause. People who have not been through this cannot possibly relate to the feeling of utter despair. So I pray to our awesome God to please let this be it, and if not, please give us the peace we need to be good Christians and maintain some glimmer of sanity!