Trying to find my former body

Well DH and I started P90X 3 weeks ago.  I hit a point where the pregnancy weight was just not coming off anymore and I still had about 16lbs left to lose.  In total I gained about 45lbs (I am just guessing because in the last 2 or so weeks I didn't bother weighing myself). After 2 weeks of P90X I've lost 5lbs. 

I must say the program is really intense.  I've never done most of the workouts in the DVDs and you REALLY feel the burn the next day. I am quite surprised with the intensity for a home workout! 

I am still rocking the maternity clothing.  I've tried several times to put on some of my non-maternity things and they simply don't fit.  Some of them will button, but they form such an obscence muffin top that I'd rather not.  My goal is to be back into my clothing before I return to work in January which I think is really doable.  I am struggling with my abdominal muscles because it split from bottom to top through the middle during the pregnancy.  After I gave birth the doctor said there was about a 2 inch gap between the abdominal walls. 

I have absolutely no desire to wear a 2 piece suit again but I would like to at least be able to wear normal clothing and look thinner and fit.

So for now I will keep fighting the good fight!

Beer, brats, and babies

This past weekend was the girls first outdoor activity. We took them to the Nashville Oktoberfest. They were dead asleep through the festival.  It gave mom and dad a chance to feel human and enjoy a beer and some sunshine. We are beginning to figure out how difficult maneuvering a double stroller is in crowds.


After the festival we decided to go out to a nice lunch at the Cheesecake factory.  We could not have asked the girls to behave better!  We ordered our food and then fed the girls their bottles at the table.  We did get some odd glares, but if the table is good enough for us to eat at, then it’s good enough for the girls to eat at. They both finished their bottles just as our food came to the table.  Harper and Stella sat in their car seats quietly and watched us eat.  If you have ever eaten at the Cheesecake factory before, you know how crowded it can get and how long the lines for the bathroom can be (and there is only one changing table inside of the handicapped stall).  Unfortunately the long lines in the womens bathroom, meant that dad had to change the girls diapers in the men’s bathroom.  Dad was a rock-star and had both girls changed without a hitch.  After lunch, the girls enjoyed their first shopping trip at the mall.  All in all it was a good day out!  We are beginning to feel more comfortable traveling outside of the house with them and incorporating their activities and feedings into ours.
Both girls have also been sleeping really well.  They usually go about 4 ours at night before they wake up for their feeding.  If they are really fussy, we will put them in our bed and they seem to fall right asleep! I think they like mom and dad’s bed.  What do you think?

Frick and Frack Friday

Here are the proofs from yesterdays photoshoot.  I can't wait to get the rest of the photos!

Long and thin to double chinned

Today marks Harper and Stella’s 6th week since they joined our lives.  Six weeks ago they came into this world weighing 4lbs, 12 oz (Harper)  and 5lbs, 3oz (Stella).  At today’s pediatricians appointment Harper weighed 7lbs, 5 1/2 oz and Stella was 7lbs 10oz.  It’s amazing to see how much they have changed over the course of a few weeks-from long, skinny, boney babies, to round, chubby, double chinned, healthy babies.
Today also marked mom’s first trip out of the house with the girls.  Let me tell you-it takes A LOT of time to get two babies dressed and ready to leave the house. Let’s just say we were a few minutes behind despite leaving 2 hours for the entire “getting ready” process. All in all the first trip out alone went well.  No melt downs and no screaming fits.
Now that the temperature is dropping, the girls are getting to wear some of their warm fleece outfits and cute jackets. All of this cold weather has made Randy and I excited to celebrate our first Christmas as a family of 4.  Unfortunately, due to the girls prematurity and one of the worst expected flu and RSV seasons, we are not going to be able to travel to see our families this year-something we look forward to every year. So we will be making some of our own traditions and plan to make the most out of our first Thanksgiving and Christmas by ourselves.
And now for some random cuteness:
Harper in her Maya Wrap-the only way mommy can get anything done with a fussy baby
Harper and Stella snuggling in their boppy pillow.

PCOS wins again

I am so blessed to have my two beautiful daughters.  Words cannot describe how grateful I am for these miracles.  But PCOS has taken something else from me...the ability to breastfeed. 

After struggling for weeks and thinking "just wait,  your milk supply will come in," it turns out it won't. I spoke with a lactation consultant who suggested that my infertility is likely the reason for my low milk supply.  After looking it up on the internet, it seems that this is a common problem with women with PCOS.

I tried all of the supplements, teas, power pumping, nursing on demand....you name it, I tried it.

Currently all I am able to pump is about 1oz....2 if I am lucky.  The only time I get more than that is at 3:30 in the morning.  I'll get about 3oz during that pump.

I am still nursing the girls. I nurse one baby at each feeding...alternating every time.  So I will breastfeed which ever babies turn it is...then give her a bottle...then pump.  The whole process takes about an hour to an hour and a half.  It is so frustrating to do all of that and know that I am giving my girls so little breast milk.

Society has made this whole expreience quite difficult and traumatic for me.  I have been made to feel like I am not doing enough.  Like I am not trying hard enough.  It sucks.  There is nothing more that I want than to be able to breast feed my girls and I feel like that precious experience is being taken from me. 

So for now I will continue to pump and give them the very little breast milk that I can produce, but at some point I will have to decide when the output is not worth the payoff.  Right now their bottles are about 1/3 to 1/2 breast milk...but as we continue to increase the amount of formula, this amount becomes less and less.

I'd love to hear from anyone that had low supply issues and how long you tried to breastfeed for!