So yesterday was one of those days where everything seems to go wrong.
Where to begin, I worked from home yesterday (currently I am telecommuting 1 day per week…..it’s awesome!). Work was one of those hellish days which put me in a bad mood to start my day out. Then my husband called to tell me he had been bumped off his flight home from his business trip. He was put on the next flight 6 hours later and thought he could make our breastfeeding class that night.
Wrong. He didn’t make our breastfeeding class because his flight kept getting delayed and delayed and delayed. So after a total breakdown over having to go to this class by myself, I laid down for an hour to rest my eyelids (because keeping them open nowadays is becoming difficult).
I got up and headed to my breastfeeding class. It was a nightmare to find. Thank god for the parade of pregnant women walking in, otherwise I think I would have given up and driven home.
So as the class starts I rapidly figure out that I am the only multiple mama there (also I am the only one there without their spouse….Score…nothing like looking like the single mom that got knocked up) and this class is SOOOO not geared towards breastfeeding more than one baby. So we watch movies and review different techniques for holding the baby while feeding. At the break, I talked to the instructor. I told her I was a bit overwhelmed because it seems like everything is geared towards feeding one baby. She discussed with me different techniques for twins, etc. Then she tells me she needs to get me another baby out. She hands me a black baby. Really. COME ON! It’s not that I am a racist, but for any of you IVF mama’s out there, you may relate to this irrational fear that maybe the embryos/baby growing inside me aren’t mind and when they go “It’s a boy/girl” and I look at it it is going to be asian or something.
So the class continues….then the instructor begins to add this caveat to all of her statements that “this only applies to full term babies” then she looks at me and says “Yours will probably be preemies.” After she says this several times and points out the fact that with preemies I’ll probably have to pump and not get to breastfeed right off the bat, I about lost it.
Finally when the class ended, I got in my car and cried. I cried the whole way home. I finally pulled myself together to see my husband whom I hadn’t seen in a few days. And when I walked in the door and he hugged me, I cried hysterically. I am fully aware that this is all pregnancy hormones, but it was just an all around shitty day. My husband held me and reminded me that he would rather have 2 healthy preemie babies than a baby that is born on its due date not healthy or worse yet still born. Given that we have had 2 friends in the past 2 weeks give birth to stillborn babies, this was a very true reality.
So I am done with classes geared towards singletons. I feel like the instructors are a little too doom and gloom for me. So I am really looking forward to our “Marvelous Multiples” class at the end of the month. I feel like that will be a little more of a positive environment for DH and I.