About Me

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Nashville, TN, United States
I am a mom to amazing twin girls, a wife, and I work full time. I battled infertility for 2 years and over the course of treatments, a twin pregnancy, and raising twins I managed to gain about 80 lbs. I’ve lost about 50 lbs so far and would like to lose another 50 in my quest to become a hot mama.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Breastfeeding Class-FAIL

So yesterday was one of those days where everything seems to go wrong. 

Where to begin, I worked from home yesterday (currently I am telecommuting 1 day per week…..it’s awesome!).  Work was one of those hellish days which put me in a bad mood to start my day out.  Then my husband called to tell me he had been bumped off his flight home from his business trip.  He was put on the next flight 6 hours later and thought he could make our breastfeeding class that night.

Wrong.  He didn’t make our breastfeeding class because his flight kept getting delayed and delayed and delayed.  So after a total breakdown over having to go to this class by myself, I laid down for an hour to rest my eyelids (because keeping them open nowadays is becoming difficult).

I got up and headed to my breastfeeding class.  It was a nightmare to find.  Thank god for the parade of pregnant women walking in, otherwise I think I would have given up and driven home.

So as the class starts I rapidly figure out that I am the only multiple mama there (also I am the only one there without their spouse….Score…nothing like looking like the single mom that got knocked up) and this class is SOOOO not geared towards breastfeeding more than one baby.  So we watch movies and review different techniques for holding the baby while feeding.  At the break, I talked to the instructor.  I told her I was a bit overwhelmed because it seems like everything is geared towards feeding one baby.  She discussed with me different techniques for twins, etc.  Then she tells me she needs to get me another baby out. She hands me a black baby.  Really.  COME ON!  It’s not that I am a racist, but for any of you IVF mama’s out there, you may relate to this irrational fear that maybe the embryos/baby growing inside me aren’t mind and when they go “It’s a boy/girl” and I look at it it is going to be asian or something.  

So the class continues….then the instructor begins to add this caveat to all of her statements that “this only applies to full term babies” then she looks at me and says “Yours will probably be preemies.” After she says this several times and points out the fact that with preemies I’ll probably have to pump and not get to breastfeed right off the bat, I about lost it.

Finally when the class ended, I got in my car and cried.  I cried the whole way home.  I finally pulled myself together to see my husband whom I hadn’t seen in a few days.  And when I walked in the door and he hugged me, I cried hysterically. I am fully aware that this is all pregnancy hormones, but it was just an all around shitty day. My husband held me and reminded me that he would rather have 2 healthy preemie babies than a baby that is born on its due date not healthy or worse yet still born.  Given that we have had 2 friends in the past 2 weeks give birth to stillborn babies, this was a very true reality. 

So I am done with classes geared towards singletons.  I feel like the instructors are a little too doom and gloom for me.  So I am really looking forward to our “Marvelous Multiples” class at the end of the month.  I feel like that will be a little more of a positive environment for DH and I. 


  1. Bless your heart--sorry it was such a sucky day. And I had the same fear with our IVF...that maybe they mixed up the embryos, and they actually made a couple of errors in which I was sure of it...anyway--I think having twins is way awesome and I hope to someday have the same issues in that I have to find multiple birth classes as opposed to regular old singleton ones. :)
    Anyway--hope your week gets better.

  2. Awww :(
    I'm sorry that was such a crappy experience!
    Hope your multiples class is WAY better!

  3. {{{Hugs}}} This is the way it is going to be from here on out. There is nothing that you will ever do again that is every 100% perfect according to "everyone". Even without twins, we hear comments all the time. "Your baby is so big." "Your baby is so small." "I can't believe your not breastfeeding." "We heard so and so formula is better." Ect. NEVER again will life go without comment from the peanut gallery. I am so sorry cause I know it is only going to be worse for you. Start now learning to ignore everyone. They don't know you. They don't know what you have been through. And despite what they may think, they don't have a clue about what is best for your babies. YOU DO!

    Again {{{Hugs}}} and wishes for some thick skin.

  4. Oh man...that sucked!! But...had to giggle at the black baby! You betcha, all of us IVFers have had that very thought cross our minds! HA!!!

  5. I guess there are some benefits to having an unexpected preemie. Such as missing all of these fun experiences!

    Some days are just like that...I'm glad Randall was there for you at the end of it all.

  6. Wow, people are just absolutely ignorant when it comes to pregnancy, aren't they? I can't believe all the rude and insensitive comments I get the closer it comes to delivery time. Sorry you had such a bad experience. She should NOT be teaching pregnant women anything...

  7. I wouldn't worry too much about the BF class...I had twins (also via IVF) that I successfully exclusively BF for over a year without a class. When I asked my ob about taking a BF class, she sort of pooh-pooh'ed it saying, "it's like taking a class to learn how to ski without skis." And in the end, she was right. It's one of those things you learn by doing, and with the help of lactation consultants, and/or friends/family who have been successful at it.

    One woman I know recommended a book to me that I found really helpful...it was "Breastfeeding Made Simple: Seven Natural Laws for Nursing Mothers."'

    And I hear you on the fears about IVF mistakes. In our case, we were nervous/joked that our babies would be Asian because the entire embryology staff at our IVF place were Asians.

  8. I'm so sorry you had such a shitty day. :(

    I totally relate to your fear of "is this baby really MY baby" as my baby's legs are measuring in the 96th percentile and neither me or my husband are above average in hieght. Hmmmm??? I'm sure we are all pregnant with our own biological babies, but your right on...the concern will always be there for IVF pregnancies.

    So glad you have such a wonderful husband!! You're gonna do great at BFing. If your committed I think that's all it really takes!! Looking forward to hearing how your multiple class goes...that sounds fun!! XOX

  9. I know exactly what you mean about having that lurking fear that you could be pregnant with someone else's babies. It's this thought in the back of your mind that you just can't shake that creeps in every so often.

    I am SO sorry you had such a rough time. I am sure your multiples class will be much better and hopefully they will be much more helpful with advice on breastfeeding twins. You absolutely CAN do it!

  10. Stupid people can say such stupid things. I am glad Randy was there to cheer you up.