To say I have sucked as a blogger would be an understatement. I always despised all of those girls who's blogs I followed and then they dropped off the face of the planet as soon as their babies were born. It made me feel used as a "follower." I now understand why it happens. I sometimes don't have to time to get a shower none the less blog. So for being pissed off at those blogger, I apologize. I get it now.
This are finally starting to get into a groove in our house. The girls are getting SO big. I find myself staring at them wondering where my little 4 lb baby went daily. Both girls are now nearly 10lbs and hitting so many milestones. Both are smiling, Harper is laughing, Stella is learning to play with toys. It's amazing.
I am soaking in my last month of maternity leave. I am so grateful to be able to take 4 months off but I am dreading going back. I find myself having mini panic attacks when I think about it. I would give anything to be a stay at home mom...but that is just not a possibility. I find myself becoming very resentful of our friends that are able to make that life choice.
Both of the girls are getting close to sleeping through the night. We feed them at 8:30 and put them down by 9. They usually sleep until about 1 or 2 and I will get up and put the pacifiers back in their mouths. They usually make it until 4am and then I will bring them into bed with us and they will sleep a little longer. Our bed is like baby ambien. The second they get in it they are dead asleep again. The only problem is I find that having a baby sleep next to me makes me a leaky milk machine. This morning, I woke up to find Harper gnawing on my boob through my shirt. Ravenous beasts!
Breastfeeding is still an uphill "why the hell am I doing this" battle. I am pumping between 2-6 oz each time I pump so I am making enough for one full bottle for each girl right now. They are drinking about 180ml (or 6oz)...so when I divide up my milk they get about 1 oz of breast milk and 5 oz of formula. I guess something is better than nothing. I just can't seem to stop even though I despise pumping. We'll see what happens when I return to work.
Here are a few pics of the girls: