Spermsicles!

So after a nice (and much needed) hiatus, I have returned from vacation. It was a perfect time to get away with DH, relax, and forget all about baby making.

Well, before vacation, we found out that hubby had another testicular infection (most likely prostatitis). So for good measure, we went ahead and froze a sperm sample (just in case). I'm sure glad we did because on our way to vacation we got a call from the ferility office and were informed that his counts had dropped DRASTICALLY...from about 55 million to 2.1 million and 0% type A and only 18% type B. Our IVF nurse assured me that even if we have to use the frozen sample, it shouldn't be a problem at all. After all, isn't that why many couples do IVF to begin with ...male factor? So $700 later, we have our very own spermsicle on ice. Hopefully we won't have to use it, but it's nice to have piece of mind. I'm sure it will help hubby "perform" the day of my retrieval if you know what I mean.

So back to vacation. The beach was wonderful. Although, after 7 days in a small beach house with two other couples, my hubby and I got a little cabin fever. We did plenty of exploring and a deep sea fishing trip to combat our boredom. I had such an amazing time with him. Just getting away from it all was so helpful. Sometimes I really wonder how I managed to marry such an amazing man. The trip was so awesome in getting us to really focus on each other and not the mundane tasks of daily life. Anyways, there was plenty of time to relax...and also lots of debauchery...I'll post pics from the trip later once I download them off my camera.

So now we are back in Nashville. I had my suppression check this morning. Everything was ALL CLEAR!!!! Yay! My E2 was 53 and there were no cysts. So tomorrow we drop the Lupron down to 5 units (from 10 units) and on Saturday we begin the Follistim. I actually can't believe this is all happening. I am really keeping my fingers crossed and trying not to get ahead of myself...but with DH's travel for work, it is kind of hard to not. Today we had to estimate when our first U/S will be if we do get pregnant. I really don't want to go to that alone. It's scary, because in the same breath...if I don't get preggo, then we modified his whole schedule for nothing. Hopefully that's not the case.

To end on a positive note, our friends that are MUCH older than we are (she is 38) just got their first BFP this past week from IVF at the same clinic. Given her age and the fact that she smoked like a chimney leading up to her retrieval, I like to think that I have a great chance of getting my BFP!

I guess we are officially off!

Ok Ok.....I suck at blogging.....

So obviously the result of my first injects cycle was a BFN...otherwise I'd have things to blog about. I will really try to be better about it.

Anyways, I have been in a complete and utter funk. The day after DH and I had a negative test, one of my friends, which god bless his heart (and by the way...you will soon figure out that "God bless his/her heart" is how us Tennessee folk begin any statement in which we talk bad about someone) is such an asshole. He and his wife knew the struggle we have been having....all of the heartache, $$, and tears we have poured into trying to start a family. Well after all of that, he calls me (as his very first person to tell) and says… “Guess what….I’m going to be a daddy.” I really tried to grin and bear it and be happy for them….but hot shit….she was on the damn pill and they were barely trying. (In her defense, they put her on the pill so that she could ovulate normally). I had a COMPLETE melt down…..I mean come on….literally 24 hours after I found out that $3,000, 15 or so needle pokes, 6 ultrasounds, and at least 5 different people with their hands in my lady business later we aren’t pregnant you call me first to tell me this. If I were a rational person (which I’m not) I’d be elated that he told me before his wife even went in for a blood test to tell me. Then not 2 weeks later another friend our age announced her pregnancy on facebook! Needless to say I blocked all of the pregnant people form my facebook. I guess that makes me a gigantic child, but I have realized throughout all of this that the number one person I need to look out for is me….and listening to how nice it is to sleep through the night while you know your little bean is in your womb is really not helping me in the least.

Whew…Ok, now to catch everyone up.

So after my cycle AF finally showed up and I went in for my baseline thinking we could jump right into our next cycle. WRONG. I had 16 cysts between my two ovaries and they were so enlarged I was forbidden from doing any physical activities in fear of my ovaries twisting. Yay…so not only did I put on 8 lbs from this cycle…now I have to take a month off from exercise…the one thing that has kept me sane. So I now went from playing with the 150’s to tipping over 170. EHHHHHHHHHHHH. Sucks. So they put me on birth control pills and told me to come back when AF starts again.

Which brings us to now….I am now on CD8….went for my E2 and U/S yesterday. E2 was up to 221 but I have no measureable follicles. I go back this Saturday…so hopefully I’ll have something to report.

Anyways….my hope is to blog more about life and try to focus less on getting pregnant….because it’s making me CRAZY.

Talk to you later!

And for a good laugh:

Making a baby is sexy!

So if you read my previous post...you guessed right. We decided to go ahead and do the IUI despite the increased risk of multiples. I am SOOOO glad we decided to now because we found out that DH's counts are down quite a bit from the last time.

All in all, the whole processes wasn't bad at all. We arrived at the clinic at 9am. DH did his thing. They brought both of us back to an exam room just after 10:30. Two nurses were in the room with us. They went over the sperm counts. I was really down over them...in hindsight I shouldn't have shown my poor husband that I was upset...I know it was just a blow to his manhood...no pun intended. There were 0% type A and only 4.4 million total. I asked her if it was even possible to get pregnant with no type As and she said it happens all the time. It was relieving to hear that.

So I assumed the position. The nurse put the speculum in and then the catheter. It was a totally differnet experience that my first IUI...not painful at all. The cath slipped right into my cervix and she put the baby batter in there. Didn't even cause cramping. The set an alarm for 15 minutes. When the time was up, I got dressed and we were out of there.

I have realized throughout this cycle that the next time I hear someone who is pregnant complain about how much morning sickness sucks...or how swollen their feet are...i might just deck them. People have no idea how unmagical the journey to conceive a baby is when you are an infertility patient! I just don't want to hear it! I will without a doubt relish every bout of morning sickness and every kick to my bladder when I get pregnant!

First Cycle of Injectibles

Well after 3 failed rounds of Clomid, we have moved on to injectibles. I started this cycle with a hysterosalpinogram (HSG)....umm....really not fun. It was not quite as bad as I thought it would be, but it was like an extremely intense pain that lasted for maybe 2 minutes when the dye spilled into the uterus. Thank God...it's all clear!! Yay.

Now to use the injectible meds, they made me take an FSH class at our fertility clinic to learn all about the different types of drugs and how to stick myself with a needle. Not terribly enlightening for $100.

I decided, naturally, to go with the most expensive option-the Follistim pen. It seemed only logical since this was the only option that did not require mixing of drugs and had a safety mechanism built in which would prevent me from dumping $1000 of medication on to the floor.

I ordered my first pen through Metro drugs. It came out to be the cheapest-$900 for the 900IU pen and a shot of Ovidrel.

I started the shots on CD3at 75IU. Given that I have PCOS, they didn't want to hyperstim me...which give how much OHSS sounds like it sucks, I was ok with that. Here are the results of the subsequent E2's and Ultrasounds:

CD3 [baseline]- E2=39
Follicles=none
Dosage=75IU

CD8- E2=165
Follicles=nothing over 10mm on either side
Dosage=100IU

CD11-E2 187
Follicles=7mm on left
Dosage=150IU

CD14-E2=1314
Follicles= Right-10mm, 10mm, 12mm
Left-14mm
Dosage=112.5IU

CD15-E2=2788
Follicles=Right-17mm, 14mm, 10mm, 10mm
Left-14mm, 10mm

On CD 15 the clinic called with news from my doctor. She said she is very concerend that we may conceive multiples with this cycle. They gave us the option of cancelling the cycle or triggereing that night and proceeding with the IUI tomorrow (Thrusday). You'll never guess what we decided............

How the hell did I get here?

Hey everyone. I've never blogged before...but given how much the journey into fertility has sucked...I thought it might be a nice outlet!

Let's see...I am 24 years old (that's right...24....and infertile). I never imagined in a million years (ok...well 24 years) that I would be one of those women that so desperately wants a baby that I would do anything to my body or spend vast amounts of money to get it. But alas…here I am. My hubby is 30 years old. We are your typical working stiffs. Get up, go to work, go the gym, eat dinner, pass out 30 minutes later, wash, rinse, repeat. I work at a major university in Nashville in research ethics. It’s pretty much a fancy title for getting to tell MDs and PhDs that they did something wrong. I kind of like it. I also go to school part time…working on my Masters degree as a Nurse practitioner in psychiatric medicine. Ironic given how crazy this fertility stuff has made me. The hubby works for a record label…putting music in movies and commercials, etc. Lots of extra hours at the office and more travel than I’d like…. But he’s the sugar daddy…so I won’t complain.

We’ve been married for 2 years (this May). Time sure flies. We have been trying to get pregnant for about a year now. It’s funny to think about how many years we dated and focused on not getting pregnant. Seems a little silly to have spent all of that money on contraception! Hindsight is 20/20 I guess. Last year I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). To sum it up PCOS is an endocrine disorder that affects approximately 5% of all women and is the most common hormonal disorder among women of reproductive age, and is a leading cause of infertility. The principal features are weight problems, lack of regular ovulation and/or menstruation, and excessive amounts or effects of androgenic (masculinizing) hormones. The symptoms and severity of the syndrome vary greatly among women. While the causes are unknown, insulin resistance, diabetes, and obesity are all strongly correlated with PCOS.
Yay…so not only am I infertile…but I will also have the joy of battling my weight and hormones all my life and likely die of some type of cardiac problem. Can’t lie….finding out I had PCOS was a little bit of a relief. I always wondered why all of the dieting in the world wouldn’t make me thin. Now I know.
On top of the PCOS, we found out DH has some motility problems. He sucked it up and went to a urologist (after many months of TTC) and found out he had prostatitis. Doc sent him home with some antibiotics….hopefully that’ll do the tricks.
Ok….so to date…..we’ve been seeing a fertility specialist for about 6 months. 3 failed rounds of Clomid, 3 large cysts after each and every Clomid cycle, one trip to the emergency room for a severe allergic reaction to progesterone, and about $4,000 later we are now moving on to the big league drugs.
I am starting my first round of injectible drugs as soon as AF shows up. My doc prescribed Follistim 900IU pen. The thought of actually sinking that needle into my stomach every night makes me a little queasy….or maybe it’s the price tag of this cycle (~$2300 to $3000). Getting knocked up is not for the poor!
Thus far insurance hasn’t covered shit. So nice to know that I pay into it every month and get squat out of it.
So now I am just sitting and waiting for AF to arrive so I can get this show on the road. I just finished up a 10 prescription of Prometrium to induce AF. So far nothing. As soon as I start I have to go in for a baseline U/S and hormone level check. The doc also wants me to have an HSG done…..not looking forward to that at all.
So that’s my shitty journey thus far! I am really looking forward to meeting others who have shared this experience….and hate it as much as I do!