My daughter did what???

I arrived at daycare to pick up the girls yesterday.  When I opened the door, Stella took off running down the hallway.  After chasing her down the hall and carrying her back to the classroom, I looked at Harper who was sitting on the floor smiling up at me and said "Hey lazy, when are you going to start walking."  Her teacher looked at me and said "Who?  That one [pointing at Harper].  She's been walking all over the classroom today but she won't do it if you ask her to."

Seriously...my kid can walk and I've never seen her do it. What a stinker!

My big girls

My girls are getting so big right before my eyes.  I still can't believe that I have toddlers.  The ones that don't need me constantly but can play all by themselves and push away when I try to hug them. They are doing new things every day that just amaze me.

Stella

• Walking....well running now.  She went from one step here and there to running in 2 short weeks.
• She loves giving kisses...or at least I think they are kisses....ok, actually she likes to open her mouth and try to bite my lips will drooling all over me.  I'll take it.
• She is the bully.  She loves to push her sister down if she is in the way and doesn't think twice about doing it.
• When I ask her to say mama she smiles at me and whispers "dada"...maybe because she knows how bad I want her to say mama. It's really funny.
• She is such a good eater.  She will eat her meat and veggies without a fight.  It's awesome. 
• She has 4 teeth and a 5th on the way.
• She's wearing size 3 diapers and 18 month clothing.

Harper

• She has taken single steps at a time but really just lets her body weight fall over and hopes someone catches her.  She'll get there soon I'm sure.
• She is my snuggler, especially when she is tired.  I love curling up with her because she doesn't push away. 
• She leaves her sister alone with the exception of slapping.  She LOVES slapping people. Perhaps its the sound it makes, but there is nothing she loves more than giving her sis a big ole' slap across the face while they are bathing.
• She is our vocal baby.  She just looks at me and talks on and on in her baby language.  I am sure she is telling me something.  What I don't know.  The girls seem to understand each other.  She can say "mama" "dada" "dog" and "cock."  Seriously.....I am still appalled that that is one of her words.  In all fairness it was because dad was talking about his rooster shirt which he jokingly said "Hey honey, look at this big cock."  Lesson learned. 
• She is my finicky eater.  I usually put only the meat and veggies on their trays.  She will have a standoff with me until she gets fruit complete with scattering all of the meat and veggies all over the tray and floor with her hands.  She will eat almost any fruit you put in front of her though.
• She has only 2 teeth and possibly 1 top one coming in.
• She is wearing size 3 diapers and 18 month clothing as well.

Wedding Photo Shoot Redo

So a few months ago we won this contest to have our wedding photos redone by the gal that take our girls photos.  The shoot was yesterday.  Check out the preview....so awesome!!
Wedding Photo Redo
 (And yes....that is my original wedding dress....it fit....which I find amazing!)

Wordpress

Honestly, it looks like WordPress is so much more user friendly. Almost makes me want to take the plunge.  Almost.  Anyone else thought this?

F*cktards

Given that this post is sensitive...I posted in Wordpress.

Leave a comment with your email addy for the password.  Enjoy this little gem and be glad you don't have to deal with this kind of crazy.


Too much crazy in my life!

So appalled.

I am pro-choice.  Always have and always will be.  I am also the mom to 9 remaining snow babies.  They are mine to do with what I please... whether it be to use them, donate them, give them science, or destroy them.  They are the product of my husband and I and to think that a state could take that decision away from me scares the shit out of me.  

I suppose next men can't do the 5 knuckle shuffle without being charged with washing half of a potential baby down the drain. Or maybe having a period will be outlawed. 

PS-any "you are a sick murder for being pro-choice" or crazy Bachmann like comments on this post will be removed...and probably made fun of. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/12/mississippi-personhood-law-abortions_n_959100.html

Big life choices.

Why can’t life be simple?  When your biggest decision for the day was whether to wear the light up sneakers or the sparkle sneakers or to go to the prom in a limo or a stretch limo. Life was easy then…in hindsight that is.  I won’t pretend that those decisions weren’t monumental when I was a kid.

High school came and went in the blink of an eye as did college.  And here I sit with a bachelor’s degree that is worthless on its own-psychology.  And a quarter of a Master’s program is behind me as a nurse practitioner.

I am currently working as a research compliance analyst.  In a nutshell my job is research ethics. It consists of working with Doctors, Nurses, Pharmaceutical Companies and Federal agencies to create comprehensive research protocols that meet all of the federal, state, etc guidelines. Basically-I read research protocols and consents all day and send my feedback back to the study staff with what I think they need to change in order to get their study approved.  Then I take it to a panel of doctors and nurses who review it and vote on it.

I’ve been doing this job (or some form of this job) for 5 years now. I really isn’t a bad gig at all.  I make very good money , work from home 2 days a week, and for the most part have a pretty stress-free job.  But there is something inside of me that is screaming that this isn’t enough. That I am not happy.  That this job doesn’t make a difference in the world.

2 years ago I went back to school for my Masters part time to become a nurse practitioner.  I finished my first year and then they told me that they could no longer accommodate my work schedule with their clinical rotation schedule.  So I dropped out.  Taking care of my family’s needs will always come first and foremost.  In those 2 years I had the twins.  Now that life is beginning to resemble something normal again, I am finding this drive to go back to school.

A few weeks ago I applied to a different master’s program.  It is a distance program at Loyola in Health Law. It would set me up to continue my work in research ethics.  It is a rather general degree I suppose.  DH and I assessed the finances and decided that it was not in the cards this year so I asked for a 1 year deferral which was granted.

In the mean time I started to feel that pull again drawing me back towards medicine and patient care.  Yesterday I finally found a program that offers the rest of the classes I need to obtain my BSN at night and on weekends.  It is 5 semesters long (if they don’t accept any of the classes I have already taken in the other Master’s program for Nurse Practitioners. )  Classes are 2-3 nights a week from 6-9 pm with Saturday clinicals.  This would allow me to become a BSN and work as a nurse and then finish out my last year to obtain my NP degree.

Now here is where the decision part comes in. I have done a good amount of research on salaries for BSN and NPs.  I know I shouldn’t make a big life decision on whether to pursue this degree based on how much money I will make…but let’s face it, I have a lot of mouths to feed and I haven’t worked this hard to take steps backwards.  Based on the info I have found I will likely take around a 10k paycut to become an RN. And then after 1 more year of schooling I will probably make a bit more than I make in my current career as an NP.  

I feel like I would be so much happier working with actual patients than working in research.  But I also feel like there is a lot more potential for me to climb the career ladder in my current job.  I am grappling with what is more important to me.  What is more important to my family?  What will give me the most satisfaction with my career?

The other piece I am considering is that as a nurse I can work 3 12 hour shifts a week at night and nix daycare.  I know the stress that would put on my me, but it is also time I would get to spend with my girls.

So what are your thoughts?  What would you do in this position?  If you are a nurse or a nurse practitioner what advice can you offer? What are realistic salary expectations for a new nurse?

So many questions.

 Finally-you can’t have a infertility/baby blog without picture of babies….