About Me

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Nashville, TN, United States
I am a mom to amazing twin girls, a wife, and I work full time. I battled infertility for 2 years and over the course of treatments, a twin pregnancy, and raising twins I managed to gain about 80 lbs. I’ve lost about 50 lbs so far and would like to lose another 50 in my quest to become a hot mama.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

3dp5dt

No new news.  Still getting intermittent cramping that feel like AF cramps.  Bloating has gone down a bit, but I am still quite swollen.  I have started to get a really hoarse voice in the afternoons without any type of pain or sore throat.  One of the girls at work thinks it has to do with the swelling of the abdomen on the phrenic nerve.

We tried my PIO shot in a new spot last night.  Bad idea.  The skin around it hurts incredibly bad and is really hard.  Not sure what we did wrong on that one.

That's about all of the news I've got.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

2dp5dt

The swelling has gone done (just a little bit).  I am starting to feel semi-human again.  I am up 3lbs which pisses me off but what can ya do!

I had my progesterone level drawn today and it was 66, so my nurse informed me that we can stay at 1cc of PIO which is great news!  She said their protocol is to raise it to 2cc when the level comes back at 29 or lower.  Glad for once I exceeded what I was supposed to.

In general just feeling some ovarian cramps...given that my ovaries are the size of oranges right now I kind of expect that.

I'm thinking I might test at 7dp5dt, but I am terrified of getting a false negative.  We only tranferred one, so there is no chance of twins that would spike my HCG.

Guess well wait and see.  Part of me hopes that my OHSS starts to get worse in the coming days....so at least I'll have piece of mind that it took....but on the flip side I know how crappy I have been feeling and would love to know feel this way anymore!!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Snow Baby Report

We have 12 embryos on ice!!! 

I'm so happy!!!!!



Meet our blastocyst

I'll try to make this quick...

I've been in and out of the doctors office for mild OHSS.  I have some fluid surrounding the uterus and a pocket sitting up against my right lung.  My belly is so distended that I look about 5 months pregnant....it's gross!  The absolute worse part of this has been the indigestion and acid reflux.  This morning it was so bad that I was hysterically crying wondering if we should ditch our transfer and go straight to the emergency room.  Based on the title of the blog, we obviously went to our transfer.

So to recap our morning, DH was wonderful and decided we should go to Dunkin to get some breakfast before heading to the clinic.  I love their flat bread sandwiches.  As soon as we order our food I began getting cold sweats and the worst stomach pain I had ever experienced.  Before I could eat anything I was feeling AWFUL...so DH got me out to the car and laid down the seat...at which point I was hysterically crying from pain and moaning.  I don't think DH knew what to do with me.  We start the drive to the clinc...all the while thinking "there is NO way there are going to let me do this transfer when is show up with mascara running down my face from pain."  We pull into the lot and the second he stopped the car I got out and threw up all over....including on myself.  Well it was all tomato juice....the only thing I had drank this morning.  What was I thinking??  My stomach still really hurt, but I felt indescribably better!

So the nurse meets us and another couple out in the parking garage...because it is a Sunday and the place is locked up otherwise.  We get into a room, change, meet with our nurse, and in comes the embryologist.  He told us the plan was to only transfer 1 embryo to A)decrease the risk of multiples and B) decrease my risk of developing severe OHSS (since my E2 was over 11,000 at retrieval).  He told us we have 8 embryos so far that have made it to blastocyst stage...all As and Bs and that all of these were ready to cyrofreeze.  He said the rest of them have a chance of catching up between today and tomorrow.  So given the number of embryos we have, I was completely comfortable only transferring 1 this time.

 Here is our beautiful grade A embaby that was transferred today:

So I took a Valium, they brought me back, DH got to look at our embryo in the microscope, and they put my legs up in the infamous stirrups. The slipped the catheter in (after quite the struggle and having to chemically dilate my cervix) and put the embryo in.  They wheeled us back to recovery and I laid there for an hour.

Now I am giving this whole "bed rest" thing a good ole' college try.  It's harder than I thought.  My back is killing me!!

Now I am just looking forward to getting my snow baby report!  I'll keep you posted: )



Just got our embryo report!
DH all ready in his scrubs.





The embryo incubator (sorry it's so dark...the lights are off in the transfer room)



Our embryologist and our beautiful embaby in the incubator.  Amazing isn't it!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

We have petri dish babies!

Of the 34 eggs retrieved, 28 had ICSI, and 17 fertilized!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't wait to get my next report on my petri dish babies tomorrow!!!!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Ovary egg hunt!

Just wanted to post a quick blog about my retrieval today......

34 eggs!!!!!

I'm still kind of in shock. I knew there would be a lot, but not quite that many.  Now I just have to wait for my report on fertilization tomorrow.  Hopefully most of them were mature and fertilize and yield us some beautiful blastocysts in 5 days!!!! 
I am sitting on the couch recovering.  I am in quite a bit of pain.  I am hoping this is very normal and not the start of OHSS.  DH and I went to the grocery store afterwards and loaded on up on lots of protein type foods.  Now I am crossing my fingers to not hyperstim so we can proceed with a fresh transfer.  If all goes well we are scheduled for a 9:15am transfer this coming Sunday!  

As promised, courtesy of my lovely hubby....some pics from our retrieval today...

Getting gowned up:


All ready to go!



Reading a book while waiting for the doctor

Just came out of retrieval. Not quite awake from anesthesia
Starting to come to....so attractive!
Isn't my husband wonderful for getting such a beautiful close-up of me?
Doing some grocery shopping after leaving the surgery center.  Can't quite walk yet.  I never want to get old!!

Monday, September 21, 2009

The results are in.....

My E2 is up to 11,305.  I cannot believe it is that high.  Fortunately, my clinic is going to let me proceed with the fresh transfer provided A) we have good embryos to transfer and B) I don't have severe OHSS symptoms between now and Sunday (which is when our transfer is scheduled).

So DH and I are off to retrieval tomorrow morning at 8:15.  I am praying that we get lots and lots of mature follicles and that OHSS doesn't follow!  I REALLY want to do a fresh transfer!

Funny pics following anesthesia to follow courtesy of my husband I am sure!

As a side note, I asked today about pelvic rest (the one thing they don't tell you about on this journey) and was informed that it begins from the transfer to the beta.  If the beta is positive it continues through the first trimester!!!!!!!  Funny how the one thing you are supposed to do to get pregnant is the one thing you are forbid to do as an IF patient.

(I swear this is what it feels like sometimes!)

Cut me some slack!

So Wednesday's bloodwork and U/S not so hot.  My E2 came back at 1200 and I had 2 measurable follies (and they were tiny).  RE called and said we are going to cut my dose of Follistim back by half and see what happened on Friday. If the follies didn't catch up to my E2 this cycle was going to be canceled.

I cried my eyes out over the thoughts of cancellation.  It was awful.  How could I come so far...two months of medication that is...only to get cancelled this late in the game.  DH was so supportive and comforting. He was absolutely my rock during this time.

He came with me to my U/S and E2 on Friday.  Well all of our prayers worked!  The u/s showed I had about 18 follies on the right ovary and about 12 that could be viuslaized on the left (left isn't always as easy to see because of the sigmoid colon).  My E2 came back at 3400 so we were cleared to continue.  They decreased my dose again to 100IU and told me to take a trigger and a half Sunday night.

So here we are.  I am going in for an E2 today to see how high my E2 is to decide if we need to freeze all potential embyros and wait for OHSS to subside or if we can proceed.  I am praying that we can proceed with a fresh transfer!!!  Pleaes cross your fingers for me!

I'll keep everyone posted.  In the meantime, here are some famliar pictures!




 

Monday, September 14, 2009

Grow follies, grow!

So I have made it through my suppression check! My E2 was suppressed at 53 and the u/s showed no cysts. Woo hooo. That might literally be the first "good news" I've ever received in my one year of treatment at this RE. So I started my Follistim on Saturday-225 IU once a night. The crappy thing is I have 300 IU cartridges which means not only will I get my Lupron shot in the morning, but every other night I will wind up having to stick myself twice (to switch out the empty cartridge for a new one).

I find myself secretly planning how we are going to tell family. I know I need to stop this because our doc only gave us about a 60% of this working. While the odds are good, it can still not take and I haven't really be bracing myself for that let down. On the flip side, I have never ever been pregnant, so I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I did see two pink lines. Ohh well, I guess it's just like every other treatment we've been through in that we will have to wait and see.

I have been rather emotional this cycle. I had a meltdown this weekend and started sobbing because I didn't feel like going on on our boat. My husband just stared at me confused....like the "who is this women and what did you do with my wife look." Normally, I LOVE the boat. It is my refuge from the hellish weekdays, but this weekend I just wasn't in the mood. Perhaps because I gave up alcohol 2 weeks ago...and boating and drinking are kind of synonymous with one another.

So I guess now I get to look forward to my first u/s on Wednesday to see how my follies are coming along. Everyone says that IVF stimming is so much shorter than IUI....I just can't seem to believe that given how long I had to stim for our last IUI. So my projected ER is sometime next week. It gives me butterflies just thinking about it. I pray that this is it, because I really and truly can't imagine the utter depression having another negative outcome will cause. People who have not been through this cannot possibly relate to the feeling of utter despair. So I pray to our awesome God to please let this be it, and if not, please give us the peace we need to be good Christians and maintain some glimmer of sanity!


Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Spermsicles!

So after a nice (and much needed) hiatus, I have returned from vacation. It was a perfect time to get away with DH, relax, and forget all about baby making.

Well, before vacation, we found out that hubby had another testicular infection (most likely prostatitis). So for good measure, we went ahead and froze a sperm sample (just in case). I'm sure glad we did because on our way to vacation we got a call from the ferility office and were informed that his counts had dropped DRASTICALLY...from about 55 million to 2.1 million and 0% type A and only 18% type B. Our IVF nurse assured me that even if we have to use the frozen sample, it shouldn't be a problem at all. After all, isn't that why many couples do IVF to begin with ...male factor? So $700 later, we have our very own spermsicle on ice. Hopefully we won't have to use it, but it's nice to have piece of mind. I'm sure it will help hubby "perform" the day of my retrieval if you know what I mean.

So back to vacation. The beach was wonderful. Although, after 7 days in a small beach house with two other couples, my hubby and I got a little cabin fever. We did plenty of exploring and a deep sea fishing trip to combat our boredom. I had such an amazing time with him. Just getting away from it all was so helpful. Sometimes I really wonder how I managed to marry such an amazing man. The trip was so awesome in getting us to really focus on each other and not the mundane tasks of daily life. Anyways, there was plenty of time to relax...and also lots of debauchery...I'll post pics from the trip later once I download them off my camera.

So now we are back in Nashville. I had my suppression check this morning. Everything was ALL CLEAR!!!! Yay! My E2 was 53 and there were no cysts. So tomorrow we drop the Lupron down to 5 units (from 10 units) and on Saturday we begin the Follistim. I actually can't believe this is all happening. I am really keeping my fingers crossed and trying not to get ahead of myself...but with DH's travel for work, it is kind of hard to not. Today we had to estimate when our first U/S will be if we do get pregnant. I really don't want to go to that alone. It's scary, because in the same breath...if I don't get preggo, then we modified his whole schedule for nothing. Hopefully that's not the case.

To end on a positive note, our friends that are MUCH older than we are (she is 38) just got their first BFP this past week from IVF at the same clinic. Given her age and the fact that she smoked like a chimney leading up to her retrieval, I like to think that I have a great chance of getting my BFP!

I guess we are officially off!